I was in an emotionally abusive relationship.?

My boyfriend was inadvertently emotionally abusive. I can become insecure at times and he was flirting with other girls behind my back and I could sense it. I tried to talk to him about it because it really upset me but every time I did I'd get patronized for being "jealous" and "overbearing". He once actually said "you just have problems with me having friends". That really hurt me. I started really hating myself because I believed everything he said. I know I really was jealous and I'll be the first to admit it, but I had reason to be. Anyways, I was struggling to keep our relationship going and he seemed not to realize what I was going through and I couldn't tell him because he'd get so defensive. Looking back, more communication could have saved a bunch of tears, but it's too late to cry over spilled milk. It was after prom that I finally woke up from my self-hatred stupor I was in. My mother had been showing people pictures from prom and one lady said, "Oh, yeah, that's that little girl my son says her boyfriend is so mean to. He flirts with other girls behind her back." Well, my mom got into her protective mode and was very very angry. When she told me my world felt like it was crashing down. Not because he was flirting with other girls, but that he lied to me and used my insecurities against me. He made me hate myself, but I was right all along. I was so mad. I hated him. I told him off and he finally confessed. I felt so used and betrayed. He had been my boyfriend for over 2 years now. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him. Now I'm going to be completely honest here, he wasn't the most attractive guy in the universe. I didn't care of course, I loved how he looked. He was attractive to me and that's all that mattered, but I wasn't so oblivious to the fact that people would stare at us and think "She's dating HIM". I apparently have a pleasing face to look at. Anyways, I felt so awful about myself. Mostly because I was so weak. I tried to still fix things but he wasn't. I guess he didn't want me around anymore. Looking back, I was so patient and loving to him. I would say "It's ok" all the time. I just wanted him to be happy. Finally, it was too much. I couldn't handle it and I had to break up with him. I guess that finally woke him up a little. I was devastated though. I still loved him. I hadn't been eating that whole month and I was disgusted at myself for physically hurting myself because of emotions. We had to go to the doctor to get me medication that would allow me to eat. I wasn't eating because my subconscious was trying to get some sort of control in my life. I could control my food intake. It was frustrating because my mind was working against me. For a while he was still a jerk to me. We had a cl together and that made it impossible. Before we broke up he'd ignore me in that cl to talk to another girl. I don't think he realized how much it hurt me because I just don't put my emotions out there for people to gawk at. Anyways, for a long time it was like he was trying to hurt me. He would flirt in front of me. I don't know when he finally woke up and discovered what an awful jerk he was but he did eventually. It's so confusing looking at the events that led up to today, but I wanted to be there for him even though he was a jerk. I fell in love with this guy, and he changed, yes, but I know he was hurting inside like I was. I never blamed the girls he flirted with. They all had boyfriends and definitely weren't interested. I can't blame them for feeling flattered by the attention. I know I would. So, now it's the summer. I've told him there's no chance of getting back together until after the summer. I really don't want to get hurt again and he also has expressed he's afraid of hurting me again. We've talked about it a lot. He has a bad habit of disappointing me. I'll forgive him and I'll look around and he's doing something jerkish again. So, it's gotten to the point where I don't forgive him. I figure if he really is committed to fixing things like he says he is, he'll do it. Actions speak louder than words. I guess the question I'm asking you guys is, am I doing the right thing? If I was him, I'd want him to do the same for me. But would I do what he's done? I want to be a good person. I still love him and he loves me. Well, my "love" for him has definitely been tarnished. I know I'll have no problem forgiving him if he truly decides to do the right thing. I guess I'm still insecure about things and need some people to tell me I'm on the right track and if I'm not, to tell me what I should do. I believe he's a good person still. He's changed for his new f